My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize