I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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