I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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