I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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