I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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