dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize