Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
