The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
