put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
