how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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