Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
