Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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