I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
