Porn is love you can see.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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