Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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