brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
