She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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