he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
