he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize