one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
