i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
