I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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