Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
