I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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