no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
