Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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