I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
