he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize