I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I CAN MOONWALK!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
