i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
