Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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