We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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