but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
