Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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