just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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