He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
