Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
