Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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