Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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