Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
