using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
