We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
