It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
