her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
