Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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