Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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