I think my fart just growled at me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
