Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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