I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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