She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize