I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
