No more Irish car bombs ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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