I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
