If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
