haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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