Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm getting married
To pizza
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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