Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
