Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
