Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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