we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
