i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
